if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
