I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
