You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
