I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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