so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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