apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
