guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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