Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
