Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
