Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i barfeds in our rink
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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