we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???