mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.