Me. At least after what I've been through.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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