I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
