I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
