How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
