Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
