I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
