Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
