"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
