He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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