I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
