Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
