There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize