i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
