I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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