She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I will pee on everything he values.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
