I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
