he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
