Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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