he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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