Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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