I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dignity is for republicans.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Randomize
