She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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