I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
