real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize