I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
