I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
