she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
