Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
