some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize