the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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