capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
