I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize