you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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