I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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