Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
