If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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