Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
