Plan B is the new Plan A
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
only you would photoshop your dick
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
