Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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