All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
