white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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