you guys were way drunker than both of me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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