So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
