She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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