God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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