My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
