Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
