you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize