I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
