Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent