I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
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i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.