i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.