Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.