Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?