well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You can't just leave with hair like that
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She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...