Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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