I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
