dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
